Wait? Did that really just happen?

Yes. Yes that really just happened. The Seahawks Defense just shut down the Broncos all night long, on their way to a staggering 43-8 victory. I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I've heard Joe Buck describe it as a "literal ass raping" and that "holy shit, the Seattle defense is taking a shit on Peyton Manning's chest, holy shit". How the hell did everyone somehow still overlook the Seahawks defense, which is now in my opinion the 2nd best in the Super Bowl era, just behind the '85 Bears. Here's how dominant the Seahawks were: If you only give Seattle credit for the first 12 seconds of each half, 24 seconds total, they still would have beaten the Broncos 9-8. Lets get through some misconceptions and some quick topics about last nights blowout

Peyton Manning can't win the big one:

You could've put any quarterback in Denver's roster, and absolutely none of them would have done better than Manning. The Offensive Line was down right dreadful, and played much more like a bull fighter practicing the Oley, than they did a professional athlete. Denver only rushed for 19 yards all game, and this allowed Seattle to stack up a lot of 3rd and Longs, making Manning wait longer in the pocket, and the OL decided to suck just as hard on 3rd down as they did on 1st & 2nd down, which is at least respectable because they are equal opportunists on every play. Blaming this on Manning also takes a lot away from the Seattle defense being downright dominant. The DLine got pressure all night and they were playing 10-10 as they were able to shut off whatever half of the field Richard Sherman was on. Just a fantastic defensive performance against one of the greatest QBs ever, who quite simply had no chance from the time the first snap sailed over his head, to the last snap. What a beat down, just don't point the finger solely at Manning.

How did Seattle dominate then:

There were a couple key plays that really changed the game in favor of the Seahawks early on. Of course the safety was a huge turning point, but Kam Chancellor leveling the shit out of Wes Welker and Earl Thomas blasting Demaryius Thomas on the first 3rd down of the game, really set a tone for the game. The Broncos receivers seemed tentative all night long, and it relegated Manning into throwing a lot of short screens and hitch routes that were more for completions than it was yardage. There's nothing wrong with those small yardage plays, but you have to be able to keep a defense honest by throwing deep. And the Broncos had almost no chance to do this, because as we've covered, the OL sucked more than Miss PacMan on a 2 for 1 night at the arcade. By keeping the throws in front of the first down marker, it allowed the Legion of Boom to intimidate the Broncos receivers by selling out for the hit because of how much the Seahawks were swarming to the football, as evidenced by Malcolm Smith winning the Super Bowl MVP, as he ran down field and ended up recovering a fumble that Byron Maxwell forced, and sitting in his coverage zone and allowing a batted ball to end up in his arms and take it to the house. He also ended up intercepting the Richard Sherman tipped pass to win the game versus the 49ers two weeks ago. Dude just does his job and allows good things to happen to him.

What's Next?:

There are several interesting players that will be free agents on both team. The Seahawks are trying hard to get a new deal done with Earl Thomas, as they have Richard Sherman due for a huge contract next year, and Russell Wilson will get a mammoth contract the year after. That means it is incredibly important to get Thomas on a front loaded contract now that will allow them to spread the cap for Sherman and Wilson. This also means that many of their contributing role players will seek huge paydays elsewhere. Golden Tate is a free agent and so are Doug Baldwin and Michael Bennett. Denver on the other hand will likely lose either Thomas or Decker as both are free agents that will test the market. I predict that they let Decker walk and lock up Thomas, while also trying to add some pieces to their defense. Seattle one of the youngest rosters ever for a Super Bowl champ, and the other 3 teams on the youngest 4 collective list won multiple championships. Denver on the other hand has an aging QB that is approaching 40, has no line and a history of neck injuries. This really felt like their last shot, but they could make one more run next year.

 

Super Bowl, Super Post

Offense:

Quarterback:

Obviously the Broncos have the edge at QB, as they have one of the best ever in football history, but Russell Wilson gets mad bitches, and his dual threat ability keeps a defense honest in the pass rush, so while Manning should have a good game regardless, Wilson could still be a bigger difference maker for the Seattle offense.
This picture actually contains 3 Super Bowl MVP awards. Even more surprising? That Black guy has none of them.

Running Back/Fullback:

The Broncos don't have a fullback, but they do have 3 pretty good Running Backs, but Seattle gets the edge just because they have a two headed tandem in Beast Mode Marshawn Lynch and Robert Turbin. Turbin is a solid wingback out of a pistol formation, which adds to his versatility and Michael Robinson is an All-Pro Fullback who just happens to be deaf. Which only means he made some sluts scream so hard he fucked up his ears. That's the only explanation.
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Beast+Mode&FORM=VIRE7#view=detail&mid=273CA2F5F25D3395C067273CA2F5F25D3395C067

Wide Receiver:

I don't know how else to put it, but Seattles receivers kind of suck. Denver has a fucking powerhouse of wide outs in Demaryius Thomas, Wes Welker, and Decker, which is reminiscent of the '07 Patriots, with Randy Moss, Welker, and Dante' Stallworth, 2 deep threats and a tiny white guy. We need more white receivers. Manning set every passing record and 2 of his top 3 receivers were white. INCONCEIVABLE.
 The Jets had 6 black receivers and no white ones and they had a shitty offense. Clearly this is an unstoppable trend. Or the Jets start Geno Smith. I don't know anymore

Tight End:

Give me Julius Thomas over the "who the fuck is that guy" and "Isn't he that dude the Bears cut because he couldn't catch herpes with a pornstar" in Luke Willson and Kellen Davis. Zach Miller is pretty solid blocking for the Seahawks offense, but Julius Thomas is a top 3 TE and can be a huge difference maker on offense. Also, the Broncos are going to have Virgil Green doing some stuff, which makes him the most successful person named Virgil in 30 years.
As long as Virgil Green stays off the Purple Drank...

Offensive Line:

The Broncos OLine is very good at keeping Peyton Manning upright, but they are rattled by injuries to some of their best players, and just don't have the depth that Seattle does. Give me Okung-Carpenter-Unger-Sweezy-Giacomini over Clark-Beadles-Ramirez-Vasquez-Franklin, because of how good the Seattle Line is at Run Blocking with their zone scheme that works perfectly with a Read Option or Inside Zone with Lynch. Also, Denver's Line sounds like a Fucking Taco Bell work force, so while that shouldn't play into the game at all, I may or may not have been stoned when I wrote this part.
 Gives freedom to Lynch to find his own crease as the Zone scheme neutralizes one great Dlineman as the OL cut blocks the backside, or will simply read that guy.

Defense

 

Defensive Tackle:

Sylvester Williams and big Pot Roast Knighton are two giant space eaters on the Broncos Dline. They're going to need to get penetration in order to keep Lynch from hitting the second level of the Defense at full speed. Even getting a hand on him can slow him down to the point that the Linebackers have a much easier time tackling him. Not to say Brandon Mebane and the Seahawks interior isn't good, but its not as vital to having a successful Defense for Seattle.
Yummmmm

Defensive End:

At End, the Seahawks are capable of putting 4 separate guys out there that can rush the passer well, Red Bryant, Chris Clemons, Cliff Avril and Michael Bennett have all been starters over the course of their career, and its incredibly luxurious for a defense to keep putting fresh DLineman in the game in order to get maximum pressure on a quarterback. Look for Seattle to hit Peyton Manning a lot, much like what the Saints did to Manning and Brett Favre in 2009. I would not be shocked if there are multiple roughing the passer calls on Seattle.

Outside Linebackers:

Seahawks and Broncos are both weak at OLB and start guys that can really only do one thing well, but Bruce Irvin gives the Seahawks the edge because of what he can do getting after the passer. Call it a by product of all the steroids he has done, but he is a fucking animal and reminds me of Brucie from the Replacements. Speaking of the Replacements, I always thought it was ridiculous because Keanu Reeves is way too small to play an NFL QB, but then I saw hustlin' bustlin' Russell Wilson. Also like the movie, Wilson and Reeves will both dry hump the fuck out of some hot ass cheerleaders after the games over. Also, the Seahawks have done surprisingly well using replacements...

Inside Linebackers:

Bobby Wagner is the scariest motherfucker since scary motherfuckers became mainstream. He has a fair argument against Patrick Willis for the title of best Inside Linebacker in the NFL, and Wagner may actually pick up Welker this game and snap him over his knee, similar to Bane and Batman in the Dark Knight Rises. Lets hope that's the only part of TDKR that occurs this game...

Too far? Nah....

Corners:

Imma let ole Dick Sherman finish this section for me...
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/richard-sherman-s-insane-postgame-interview/12ffvii4

Safetys:

Rahim Moore is out, and that means that means that its time for our favorite segment called "Pornstar or Pro Athlete!!!!" If only we could get Drew Carey to host, as he will be at the game covering himself in Seattle Gear. The contestants: Byron Long, Duke Icherabo, Mike Adams, and JR Langdon! Good luck, and in case you don't realize it, I think Kam Chancellor and Earl Thomas are better than whomever Denver throws out there.

Special Teams:

Matt Prater set the NFL Record for longest field goal, and Trindon Holliday is explosive. Look for Seattle to contain Holliday, but if they don't, I think there is a tiny chance Holliday could pull the mammoth upset and win MVP if the Broncos win and he returns 2 touchdowns, or maybe 1 and a shit ton of yards. Id throw down 5 bucks on him winning just for the odds.

Predictions:

Even though the Broncos have the better offense by far, because of the extra bye week, I tend to go with the better defensive team, as the bye week is a huge factor for teams that have a good Defensive Coordinator like the Seahawks. That's why I'm picking...
Seahawks-24, Broncos-20

MVP- Ill take a dark horse here and go with someone other that Wilson or Lynch. I really feel like Golden Tate or even Earl Thomas will win. Its going to be a close game that requires a big play for Seattle, so look for Tate because of his explosiveness off bubble screens, or Thomas because he will have freedom to roam the other half of the field away from Richard Sherman. If the Broncos win and Manning doesn't suck, he will win MVP without a doubt.

 

Viva La Tigers

Tiger Tuesday.

Pure Power. 

This is fucking adorable. 

The 40 in 30 Challenge. Post 1

Thanks to PBR, I'm writing this because of a drunken bet I made with two of my pals we'll call Douche and Turd. Because of my expertise in doing stupid shit that makes other people laugh and say "Harry you're a fucking idiot", I made a drunken bet that's incredibly simple. I'll lose 40 pounds, in 30 days. I am actually an expert in losing the weight as I lost 50 pounds a few years ago for football and intentionally regained a lot this year, also because of football. I weighed in tonight at a svelte 269 pounds, and will need to be 229 pounds by midnight on February 28th, and on the line is 40 fucking bucks. Big Deal, I know. I'll post frequent updates every couple days or so, in order to let you know the progress in the latest line of stupid things I do. I advise you not to try this at home, so were not fucking liable if your dumbass gets hurt or sick.
I do think I look like the BAMF in the middle.

Final Post NBA Power Rankings 7-1

7. Golden State

Golden State seems right now like one of the most complete teams in the NBA. Their starting lineup includes 2 bruising big guys in Andrew Bogut and David Lee, the Splash Bros in Steph Curry and Klay Thompson, and Andre Iguodala who plays terrific D, and can drain the open look. Just a fantastic starting 5. The only problem is the Defense, as aside from Iggy, they don't get a ton from anyone in the lineup and little to none off the bench, which isn't very deep.

6. Houston

James Harden is a legit star in the NBA, Dwight Howard at 70% is still the best Center in the NBA, and they have a nice repertoire of role players like Chandler Parsons and Terrence Jones to carry the load. Unfortunately, Dwight Howard is still a whiny bitch and Omer Asik is still likely going to be traded, so watch to see what they can get for Asik before calling them a title favorite.

5. San Antonio

The Spurs still don't have a win over the top 6 teams in the NBA, which speaks some problems to their Defense, as they start a man so charismatic he can cheat on Eva Longoria and actually find a better looking woman, Father Time, and Manu Ginobli. Kawhi Leonard has been injured quite a bit this year and the supporting cast just isn't there. I'm not even very optimistic they'll make it out of the first round. They worry me.

4. Portland

The have my favorite non-Piston player in the NBA in Damian Lilliard, who is able to fuck the Based Gods Bitches and get away with it, and LeMarcus Aldridge who fucks shit up on daily basis, along with the greatest NBA2K13 player ever WESLEY MATTHEWS. The Blazers (lol), shoot the 3 as well as anyone in the league and play some terrific Defense. I think theyre built a lot like the Pacers, as in they need to get deep in the playoffs before they can win a title.

3. Oklahoma City

They have Kevin Durant. That is all.

2. Indiana

1. Miami

They're basically tied in this regard, with Miami getting the edge just because of being the champion. You gotta knock out the champ to be the champ, which is exactly what the Pacers aim to do this year, as they're projected to have homecourt advantage this postseason, which could give them the heads up on the Heat. Either way, if they avoid an upset, Itll be one hell of a series.

What The Fuck Did I Just Watch.

I can still feel this guy staring right into my soul. Fucking creepy.


PS

New season of Workaholics tonight, nbd but kbd. Hope everyone has a fabulous Wednesday.

WInter X Games 2014 Preview

If you're not into the whole action sports scene, this week is the annual Winter X Games held at Aspen Resort in Aspen, Colorado. Honestly, this is one of my favorite sporting events of the year. These guys (and girls) are just fucking crazy. The level of competition that they compete at is really amazing. As usual all of the big names will be there such as Shaun White, Louie Vito, and Levi Lavallee. With events that range from the snowboarding super pipe, to the snowmobile best trick. It's sure going to be quite a show this year.

Men's Super Pipe:

First, I would like to rant about Shaun White. He jumped onto the snowboard scene when he was in his teens and has taken the sport to an all time high. He was the first to do a double McTwist 1260 in the pipe, and has only lost one event in that area in 3 years. The guy is really unreal. And on top of that he has helped skateboarding progress as well. But honestly, I'm getting tired of seeing this guy win year after year. It would be different if he had some competition, but he doesn't. Not many people in the sport are as progressed as he is in the pipe, but there are a few up and comers that may be able to knock him off this top this year not only at X Games but in the Winter Olympics.

Ayumu Hirano:

Ayumu made his way onto the snowboard scene last year at the X Games when he took second place in the super pipe next to Shaun White. The craziest thing is, HE'S ONLY 14 YEARS OLD. That is crazy if you ask me. But don't let his age fool you, this kid can throw down in the pipe. He is one of the few riders that could possibly knock Shaun White down on the podium this year. I'm expecting big things from this little guy in the upcoming week. Btw, he speaks absolutely zero english. Straight Japanese.

X Games did a great job with this commercial, fucking inspirational. 

Big Air:

This is probably my favorite event that is held in the X Games. The tricks are getting more and more advanced each year and it started with Halldor's double cork and then was one-up'd by Torstein's triple cork. The guys in this event are legally insane. They are doing some of the most difficult tricks on earth while traveling at least 65 feet through the air. 

Halldor Helgason:

Halldor won the event in 2010 by performing the first double cork ever in a competition. I'm hoping he is able to win it this year as well. Personally, he is my favorite rider. He has his own style and swagger that I love. He had an unfortunate wipe-out last year at the X Games, so hopefully he will come out strong Friday night. 

This is genius, tattoo of a penis on the inside of your finger, then a pair of tits on your ribs. Guy can titty-fuck whenever he feels like it. 

Torstein Horgmo:

Another one of my favorite riders. Torstein won the event the year after Halldor with the double cork. He did it with the triple cork on the last attempt of his run. This was also the first time anyone had landed it in a competition. Now a days, snowboarders are throwing these like its their day job and it blows my mind. Torstein was the first ever and both of theses riders keep setting the bar higher and higher. Love seeing what they come out with every year. They're also very good friends, which is awesome. 

Fucking love this video. First ever triple, all amped up, what better way to celebrate then by whipping your goggles 90+ right at some chicks face. Priceless. 

Overall, this year is going to be something else. That's why I love watching all these sports, cause they are constantly progressing. All of these athletes are one of a kind and do some crazy shit. Although there is a lot of risk in these sports, they are fun to watch and that's the bottom line. The games couldn't have come at a better time either with the Winter Olympics coming up in a couple of weeks. Can't wait till it all kicks off Thursday on ESPN with the men's super pipe elimination, and snowmobile freestyle elimination. It should be fun to watch. 

Let's not forget Caleb Moore who died last year in the games due to a terrible snowmobile accident. Rest In Peace.